Things We Say

 

“You’re not going to like this,” Hubby announced once again as a preface to an idea he had. I don’t remember which idea it was the last time, but his brilliant plans can range from both of us taking the car in for an oil change on our way out for a fish fry to stocking up on flashlights on sale at Harbor Freight.

Okay, I don’t think he ever proposed either of those scenarios, and usually, what he comes up with are things I’m agreeable to, so I don’t know why he always uses that opening line.

But here’s the thing – that could be the name of a TV show. What do you think? “You’re not going to like this” – a comedy about a somewhat demented father who has to move in with his middle-aged daughter and son-in-law. It’s been done already, hasn’t it?  

Speaking of somewhat demented, when my brother calls once a week to check in, his opening line is usually, “I have a big problem” followed by “It’s so cold out,” “My TV isn’t working,” or something else that is earth-shattering. In his world, but not mine.

A show titled “I Have a Big Problemt” could be a reality show about a group of teen-age girls, because when do they not have a big problem? Or it could be a crime drama where after someone commits a crime, they contact this special agency to provide a cover-up.    

That reminds me of another one of Hubby’s and my favorite lines. “Did you hear who died?” is a line we probably use an equal number of times. Like just this week. He shouted from the living room on the far west end of the house to me in my office on the far east end the name of someone who had died. It wasn’t until he got home from work three hours later that I was about to ask, “Did you hear Val Kilmer died?” when I realized that was who he was talking about.

Of course, the title “Did you hear who died?” sounds like a show where Jessica Fletcher is solving crimes in Cabot Cove. But how about instead, it’s about a small-town radio station where there is no crime, just a long list of morning obituaries?

All right, so now it’s your turn. What phrases do you and your loved ones frequently use on each other, and what TV program could be titled that?

Whining about the weather and some updates

I have a friend who hates the month of March because of the weather. And I have to admit, weather in March in my part of the world is like living with a bipolar psychopath who is off their meds. Yet, here we are in April and I can’t say that elements in this month are any better. It’s like a concerned doctor is trying to adjust that bipolar psychopath’s meds and every night is a full-moon. Anyone who’s ever worked in health care, law enforcement, or pretty much dealt with the public knows what I’m talking about.

So this was our driveway last Tuesday morning, a bright sunny day after a weekend of snow.

This video is of the freezing rain on Sunday. If you turn up the volume, you can hear the gentle pitter-patter. Okay, nothing gentle about it. 

Our cat Emma and the dog Hannah preferred to stay in bed. 

Then Monday, it was back to sun glaring mockingly off of the snow.

The forecast for last night was for one to three inches of snow and up to another three inches today. Overnight, maybe an inch of snow fell, and it's only overcast now. So, we'll see what happens. I'm sure the weather forecasters find this time of year frustrating too. 

Two other things I wanted to mention. Remember two weeks ago when we had a chip in our windshield. Hubby took it in a few days later and came home with not only that same chip but a distinct large handprint on the glass where the technician took a picture of the defect for insurance purposes. Could they have wiped it off? I wished I had a crime kit; I would have tried to lift a print just for fun. The good news is that they got it in the other day already and did the glue-fix on it, and it didn’t cost us anything.

The other thing – please pray for Hannah and me this evening as we go to our first obedience class. Hoping the roads are clear, and she is not a terror on the drive there and back, and she doesn’t have any accidents while there. And that I’m not a worse student than she is.

Celebrating Passover

Now the day of the Passover celebration arrived, when the Passover lamb was killed and eaten with the unleavened bread. Jesus sent Peter and John ahead to find a place to prepare their Passover meal.

“Where do you want us to go?” they asked.

And he replied, “As soon as you enter Jerusalem, you will see a man walking along carrying a pitcher of water. Follow him into the house he enters, and say to the man who lives there, ‘Our Teacher says for you to show us the guest room where he can eat the Passover meal with his disciples.’ He will take you upstairs to a large room all ready for us. That is the place. Go ahead and prepare the meal there.”

They went off to the city and found everything just as Jesus had said, and prepared the Passover supper.

Then Jesus and the others arrived, and at the proper time all sat down together at the table; and he said, “I have looked forward to this hour with deep longing, anxious to eat this Passover meal with you before my suffering begins. For I tell you now that I won’t eat it again until what it represents has occurred in the Kingdom of God.”

Then he took a glass of wine, and when he had given thanks for it, he said, “Take this and share it among yourselves. For I will not drink wine again until the Kingdom of God has come.”

Then he took a loaf of bread; and when he had thanked God for it, he broke it apart and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body, given for you. Eat it in remembrance of me.”

After supper he gave them another glass of wine, saying, “This wine is the token of God’s new agreement to save you—an agreement sealed with the blood I shall pour out to purchase back your souls.      (Luke 22:7-20, Living Bible)

In my Wednesday morning Bible study, we are reading the book, “The Rock, the Road, and the Rabbi,” by Kathie Lee Gifford and Rabbi Jason Sobel. We hadn’t planned it this way, but this week, we will learn more about the Jewish traditions surrounding Passover and the significance of Jesus instituting communion.

If you’ve watched “The Ten Commandments” with Charlton Heston, you know that Pharoah released the Israelites from slavery in Egypt after God had sent ten plagues. The final plague was that God would kill the firstborn sons throughout the land unless the blood of a lamb was spread on their doorposts. For two millennia, the Jewish people have celebrated Passover in remembrance of this “passing over” of the angel of death.

And here we are - Jesus celebrating Passover with His disciples. Jesus is the perfect lamb whose blood would soon be shed on the cross to save all mankind.

At the time, the disciples didn’t know what was going on – that happened to them a lot, poor guys. But we know, and we partake of communion in remembrance of our Lord and Savior.

(Today’s picture is from the Amsterdam airport when I was on my way to Kenya for the second time in 2013. Not quite like the bread used at Passover, but bread does seem to be a staple in most cultures.)

Interpretive Dance?

I didn’t get up until 6:30 this morning, because I was out late last night. Two friends and I went to a Christian concert and didn’t get home til after 10:30. And I spent yesterday afternoon loafing around in anticipation of that, so I didn’t get around to writing today’s blog.

With that in mind, I thought about not adding words to these ridiculous pictures. In 2013, Hubby and I took a vacation for a few days to southeast Wisconsin. At a park near Waukesha, for some reason I was inspired to do an interpretive dance.

I share these now because last Friday I confessed to wanting to be a stand-up comedian and you already know that I’ve always want to be a writer. But when I was in kindergarten, our teacher assigned us to draw a picture of what we wanted to be when we grew up. I distinctly remember my picture. I wore a pink tutu, and my feet, properly on my toes, were as wide as my head, my arms encircling that tiny head. A prima ballerina. 

Our goals in life still pop up sometimes. 

Autumn Wandering – Where Was I Wednesday

Last December, when I finally finished blogging about my trip to Cambodia, I totally forgot about any other trips I took last fall. The only one was a quick overnight to the Dells. A few years ago, the girls I lived with in the dorm my first two years in college decided to start having reunions. The weekend of October 11, we all met up at a resort in Wisconsin Dells.

I only spent Friday night as I had so much going on and still felt jetlagged from that trip to Cambodia. I still had a good time, and it was fun to catch up with everyone. Umm, I think there were nine of us, maybe, if I remember right. I took only one picture (you’re shocked, I can tell), and I can’t even find it now.

Anyway, I left late Saturday morning, and as usual, I drove backroads on the way home. After driving less than an hour, I stopped at Roche Cri State Park for a walk around. The main road into the park was already closed for the season, so I parked at the Prairie Trailhead and hiked around the prairie. I wasn’t quite up to walking the adjacent trail into the park.

It was a beautiful fall day. Once again, I felt blessed to live where I do. 

When Will Jesus Return?

 

I’m sorry that today’s post is going to be so long, but I couldn’t find a good place to cut it off.   

Here is the scene. Jesus had arrived triumphantly in Jerusalem and the next day He had gone to the Temple. In anger, He turned over the tables of the money changers and merchants (remember last Sunday’s post?).

The day after that He told many parables to anyone and everyone who would listen. He warned His audience about a lot of things and criticized the church leaders.

Finally, when He was alone with His disciples, He told them what to look for in the future. Our future.

          The 24^th chapter of the book of Matthew, verses 1 through 44, from the New International Version.

As Jesus was leaving the Temple grounds, his disciples pointed out to him the various Temple buildings. But he responded, “Do you see all these buildings? I tell you the truth, they will be completely demolished. Not one stone will be left on top of another!”

Later, Jesus sat on the Mount of Olives. His disciples came to him privately and said, “Tell us, when will all this happen? What sign will signal your return and the end of the world?”

Jesus told them, “Don’t let anyone mislead you, for many will come in my name, claiming, ‘I am the Messiah.’ They will deceive many. And you will hear of wars and threats of wars, but don’t panic. Yes, these things must take place, but the end won’t follow immediately. Nation will go to war against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in many parts of the world. But all this is only the first of the birth pains, with more to come.

          “Then you will be arrested, persecuted, and killed. You will be hated all over the world because you are my followers. And many will turn away from me and betray and hate each other. And many false prophets will appear and will deceive many people. Sin will be rampant everywhere, and the love of many will grow cold. But the one who endures to the end will be saved. And the Good News about the Kingdom will be preached throughout the whole world, so that all nations will hear it; and then the end will come.

          “The day is coming when you will see what Daniel the prophet spoke about—the sacrilegious object that causes desecration standing in the Holy Place. Then those in Judea must flee to the hills. A person out on the deck of a roof must not go down into the house to pack. A person out in the field must not return even to get a coat. How terrible it will be for pregnant women and for nursing mothers in those days. And pray that your flight will not be in winter or on the Sabbath. For there will be greater anguish than at any time since the world began. And it will never be so great again. In fact, unless that time of calamity is shortened, not a single person will survive. But it will be shortened for the sake of God’s chosen ones.

“Then if anyone tells you, ‘Look, here is the Messiah,’ or ‘There he is,’ don’t believe it. For false messiahs and false prophets will rise up and perform great signs and wonders so as to deceive, if possible, even God’s chosen ones. See, I have warned you about this ahead of time.

“So if someone tells you, ‘Look, the Messiah is out in the desert,’ don’t bother to go and look. Or, ‘Look, he is hiding here,’ don’t believe it! For as the lightning flashes in the east and shines to the west, so it will be when the Son of Man comes. Just as the gathering of vultures shows there is a carcass nearby, so these signs indicate that the end is near.

“Immediately after the anguish of those days, the sun will be darkened, the moon will give no light, the stars will fall from the sky, and the powers in the heavens will be shaken.

          And then at last, the sign that the Son of Man is coming will appear in the heavens, and there will be deep mourning among all the peoples of the earth. And they will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven with power and great glory. And he will send out his angels with the mighty blast of a trumpet, and they will gather his chosen ones from all over the world  —from the farthest ends of the earth and heaven.

          “Now learn a lesson from the fig tree. When its branches bud and its leaves begin to sprout, you know that summer is near. In the same way, when you see all these things, you can know his return is very near, right at the door. I tell you the truth, this generation will not pass from the scene until all these things take place.  Heaven and earth will disappear, but my words will never disappear.

“However, no one knows the day or hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself. Only the Father knows.

          “When the Son of Man returns, it will be like it was in Noah’s day. In those days before the flood, the people were enjoying banquets and parties and weddings right up to the time Noah entered his boat. People didn’t realize what was going to happen until the flood came and swept them all away. That is the way it will be when the Son of Man comes.

“Two men will be working together in the field; one will be taken, the other left. Two women will be grinding flour at the mill; one will be taken, the other left.

          “So you, too, must keep watch! For you don’t know what day your Lord is coming. Understand this: If a homeowner knew exactly when a burglar was coming, he would keep watch and not permit his house to be broken into. You also must be ready all the time, for the Son of Man will come when least expected.”

(The picture is of the church and convent of San Francisco in Lima, Peru, when I was there in 2009.)

Funny Friday, coz we all need to see the humor in life these days

I’ve been listening to way too many comedians’ clips on YouTube. It has caused the resurfacing of my dream to be a stand-up comedian. (I know – none of you saw that coming.) I can’t see that ever happening, though, not at this stage in my life, and here I sit in the frozen north with nary a venue to showcase my talent. The groups of ladies I meet with at Bible study and at Al-Anon are about the only available audience.

 Then I remember reading the books by Dave Barry, Bill Bryson, Erma Bombeck, and my friend Mary Pierce. Maybe writing is a more appropriate medium for me. Plus, I would be spared the awkward silence when no one gets my jokes. If anyone reads what I write, I can sit back and imagine them guffawing at my every word. (Wow, spell check is getting better; it recognized the collection of letters I threw on this page in my attempt to spell guffaw.)

This all started when I was just a kid. My family decided I was so goofy that they nicknamed me Knutt (pronounced “nut,” and I don’t know who spelled it like that the first time, but it stuck). They even got a T-shirt with that on it. Of course, they also bought me a T-shirt about being lazy, so I’m not sure what kind of message my parents were trying to send. (But they also bought me the purple Smiley in the picture above.)

I don’t recall anyone outside the family thinking I was funny, even though others laughed at me, but that was just because I was so awkward. Back in my day, we weren’t bullied; we were picked on. I don’t blame my low self-esteem on any of those kids, though. Remember those T-shirts my family bought me? But enough about that.

The goofiest thing I remember single-handedly doing at home was drinking a glass of water. Mom was always harping on us that we weren’t drinking enough water. Water came from the tap then, not from a bottle you bought at the store. So, one night, while everyone was in the living room watching TV, I walked into the room during the commercials. I pointed to the glass of water in my hand and announced, “Note, a glass of water.” Then I drank the glass dry.

I didn’t get any reaction out of my parents, but my sister Pat buried her head in a pillow. Not sure if that was coz she was laughing or she was feeling humiliated for me. Whatever the case, I still laugh when I think about it. What a goof I was! What a Knutt!

Most of the other comedic scenes in our house revolved around things Pat and I did. Trouble we got into. Like the time we were wrestling on one of our beds on top of someone’s homework. A pencil got jabbed into her leg, and she wore that piece of lead for the rest of her life. And never let me forget it.

But I did the research, and what we call pencil lead has always been graphite. I guess pencil graphite doesn’t have the same ring to it. But graphite reminds me of an incident in freshman English class.

Mrs. Hanson assigned us to bring in an interesting article to read in front of the class. Most of the girls found what I call “squished puppy” stories – the ones where everyone cries when the puppy gets hit by the car, or maybe he’s an old dog now and has to be put to sleep. But Kenny found an article about graphite fishing rods in an outdoor magazine.

I still can hear Mrs. Hanson’s sweet voice saying, after he had read a page, “Oh, Kenny, that was so nice, but maybe you can stop reading now and give someone else a chance to share their story.”

And I guess you want to stop reading now too.

I want to close by wishing my husband and biggest fan a very happy birthday. Taking him out for a fish fry tonight.