I
am the world’s worse niece. From 1978 to 2007, I lost nine aunts and uncles,
and I only remember going to the funerals of two of them. Sure, I was away at college
some of those years or living in Colorado, but I really think I could have made
more of an effort. I do have some memories though.
I was still in high school when my uncle Bob passed away in November of 1978, following years of debilitation from Huntington’s Disease. I really don’t remember him not having those uncontrollable movements and walking like someone who is drunk. It’s a horrible disease.
His funeral was on a cold, dreary day, but at some point during the service, the sun broke through the clouds and shot its rays of hope through the beautiful stained-glass windows.
I think my Aunt Clara died from lung cancer. She smoked like a chimney her entire life as far as I know. It had been years since I had seen her, but I had a dream about her the night before she died. I can’t remember at all what it was about, but I kind of freaked out when Mom called to tell me she had passed away.
I was at college when Uncle Frank died. That was in the days before cell phones and even before there were phones in the dorm rooms. Somebody came down to my room to tell me I had a call on the pay phone at the end of the hall. I didn’t know what to say when Mom told me. Again, I hadn’t seen him in quite a few years. We grow up and move away and start having a life, one that excludes a lot of family members.
Uncle Fritz had stomach or colon cancer, I can’t remember now which. I had still been seeing him and Aunt Min, off and on, as they came down to our house to play cribbage regularly. If Mom got a phone call, or was busy with something else, she would let me play her hand. I thought I was pretty smart then. I need to start playing cribbage with Hubby more.
When the other three aunts and one uncle passed away, I have no clue what the cause of death was. I am really a slacker.
But there was Aunt Helen, by and far my favorite aunt and like a second mother to me.
I was still at work that day in December of 2005. For some reason, after everyone else was gone, I stayed to clean out one of my cupboards. Mom called on my personal line. She was at her sister’s apartment and though I don’t think she said it in so many words, I knew what she was getting at.
I drove to her apartment, where the EMTs were still working on my aunt. They wanted clarification that it was okay with the family for them to stop what they were doing, and Mom waited for me to agree with her. It was a long sad night after that. (To be continued.)
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| Uncle Bob, in the 1940s. How's that mustache? |
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| Aunt Clara. Every picture I have of her is in profile or sleeping. |
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| From left to right, Dad and his brothers, Fritz and Frank |
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| While looking for pictures of Aunt Helen, I found this one. Aunt Helen, my sister Pat, and my baby Val are all gone. My brother Tom, with dementia, is gone mentally. Wie Traurig. |





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