My Brother Tom

 

          I've wanted to share this story for a while now, but it's been too close to home, too raw. Every day, sometime between ten a.m. and two p.m., it feels like the scab gets ripped off, and I'm left bleeding again.

          I've been praying, sometimes pleading, with God to lift this burden and grant peace to me and those surrounding me in this struggle. And just when I was ready to throw in the towel, God gifted me with a miracle.  

          As you may know, my brother Tom is fraught with dementia, and I'm struggling to keep him – and myself – together. Once he gets up for the day, between 10 and 2, he could call me six to eight times to tell me the same thing, or to tell me eight different things. We've decided that he has to go into assisted living, and his medical providers wholeheartedly agree.

          I visited a facility here in town last week and thought it would be a good fit for him. In the past, I've mentioned to him that we should get more care for him and that maybe he isn't safe at home alone anymore. He has met those suggestions with angry defiance.

          Tuesday afternoon, we had an appointment for him to tour this facility. My heart banged against my chest when I picked him up to drive him there. I didn't tell him where we were going until we were on our way.

          I opened with something like, "Tom, I have to tell you something, and you are not going to like it, but I want you to just listen."

          So, I reminded him that the plumber had been to his house the day before, that he needed his well worked on, and that his water wasn't safe to drink until it was fixed. That was the truth.

          Then I told him a few fibs - long stretches of the truth. It would take a couple of weeks for them to fix the problem, and he would not have any water during that time. And that they would have to clean out all his water pipes in the house, which could cause poisonous gases to be in the air.  

          He agreed, mostly saying that they have to do whatever they can to fix his water.

          I continued, with words as slow and even as I could. He would need to move out of his house then for a few weeks until the plumber was done, and I had found him a nice place to live, where he would have his own room, his own TV, and a small refrigerator to keep his Mountain Dew. This place would prepare and serve him three meals a day, and even wash his clothes, clean his room, and help him shower once a week. (Not showering has been our biggest point of contention, as he claims it is NOT healthy to be clean.)

          He actually listened to everything I said. And when I was done, he answered, "That would be great."

          Tears popped into my eyes. I couldn't believe it. Praise God, praise Almighty God in heaven.

          We toured the place, and he picked out a room just inside the lobby, where a TV was only steps away. He said he wouldn't need a TV in his room if he could watch that one. He asked how much the meals were, and we assured him they were included in the price. And how much is this place, he asked. I told him it was being taken care of, between his monthly social security check and money from the VA through their Aid and Attendance program.

          All the way home, we talked about it, and he still seemed on board.

          When I got him back to his house, though, he asked when his truck would be done in the shop (where he believes it has been for two months, waiting for repairs, when it has been in my yard most of the time).

          I told him that once his water is safe to use again, in two weeks, maybe his truck would be ready too, and he could move back to his house and drive his truck again (which is NOT going to happen, but if you've dealt with anyone with dementia, you know it doesn't pay to argue with them; tell them what makes them happy and move on).

          He was fine when I left him that afternoon and has been in a good mood since then.

          A miracle. An answer to prayer!

          But then God said, "I'm not done yet."

          Shortly after I got home, Hubby's orthopedic surgeon's office called. He had been scheduled for shoulder replacement on June 10, but it was bumped back to August 12 because of an infection in his tooth. We were worried that surgery that late in the summer would mean he couldn't drive the bus yet when school started a few weeks later. Plus, he's been in a lot of pain and just wanted this shoulder fixed.

          The woman on the phone said they would have to cancel his surgery in August as the doctor would be out of the office.

          "Okay," I numbly replied. 

          And God was about to chime in, "Gotcha!" when I heard the words, "But we can move the surgery up to July 30 if that would work for you guys."

          I said, "Yes, of course, that would be perfect," and wanted to add that you could have opened with that.

          God chuckled and thought to Himself, "I'm still not done."

          This might sound so minor, but it still means so much to me.

          While I was on the phone with orthopedics, I had another call. When I checked messages, it was Home Health calling to schedule an appointment to visit Tom. But this just wasn't any nurse; this was a woman I had frequent contact with when I worked at the clinic. Anyone who has gone through stress like I have over the last two months knows that a familiar name and voice can make such a difference.

          There you have it. I have rambled on for long enough. But I need to let you know that there is a loving, caring God, Who listens to your every prayer, Who knows what you are going through and will lift you out of your despair when the time is right. Don't ever give up on Him. 

(The portrait was taken in 1991, as a Christmas present to our parents from my brother, both sisters, and me. Before ugly sweaters was a thing.)

 

The Dells through a child's eyes

Chapter 4 - The Dells

Our first trip in the new camper was a weekend getaway to Wisconsin Dells. Now, it is known as the Water Park Capital of the World, but in 1966, it was a calm, restful place for parents to let their young children discover all that is kitschy, while Mom and Dad try to absorb the natural surroundings of rock and water.

          Henry Hamilton Bennett is credited with putting the area on the map. In the late 1800s, when the Dells was called Kilbourn City, Bennett began taking photographs of the natural wonders along the Wisconsin River. He experimented with new and innovative photography and changed many aspects of how pictures were captured. As word spread of the amazing photographs he sold, tourists began journeying to Kilbourn City to see these places for themselves.

          H. H. Bennett Studio is still on Main Street, and as part of the National Register of Historic Places, it serves as a historical museum.

          In the 1920s, enough Americans owned automobiles that they could truly flock to The Dells. In the first half of the twentieth century, the beauty of the Dells themselves, the rock formations carved by thousands of years of the rush of the Wisconsin River and the work of glaciers were what people came to see. The famous ducks, amphibious vehicles engineered and first used by the military, would ferry tourists across land and directly into the water for scenic views of the area beginning in the late 1940s.

          By the 1950s various entrepreneurs saw opportunities to expand the tourist attractions. One of the first such attractions was Storybook Gardens and Mother Goose Land. These beautifully landscaped grounds had life-size figures from all the beloved fairy tales of my youth. There was a little cottage with statues of the three bears, waiting to greet any girl willing to be their Goldilocks. There was the wall Humpty Dumpty sat on precariously. There were three men in a tub in the middle of a pond. Many more settings from children's stories dotted the grounds.

          When my family visited the Dells in 1966, Pat and I ran from one fairytale scene to the next. We pretended to eat porridge with the bear family and carried on imaginary conversations with some statute children outside a giant shoe. We climbed the crooked ladder to the roof of the crooked home of the crooked man and his crooked wife and slid down the crooked slide.

Storybook Gardens closed in 2010, and the local fire department burned down the big boat at the entrance the following year as part of their training exercises. It's a shame that today's children don't have the chance to live out fairytales like my generation did. It's a shame that their idea of fun is going down the waterslide over and over again without using any imagination. Do they even know about Mother Goose?

          For me, though, since I can't swim, it would always be enough to frolic in the grass and pretend that I was Little Red Riding Hood.

Anyone who has seen any pictures of Wisconsin Dells, has seen these iconic formations. When H.H. Bennett started photographing the area, he took pictures of his son jumping across this space. Now they have a German Shepherd do it. And there is a net underneath him. I took this pictures in October of 2021 when Hubby and I spent a weekend in the Dells. 

The Coming of the Holy Spirit (aka The Tongues of Fire story)

Today, I’m writing about the time that the Holy Spirit came on the disciples by placing flames of fire on their heads, allowing them to speak in other languages. Crazy, right? But two weeks ago, I shared the Great Commission, where Jesus told His disciples to go out and spread His word to all peoples in all lands. Challenging to do when you don’t speak the language.

It's a long passage, so I took a few verses out.

(from Acts chapter 2, verses 1-12, 14, 22-24, 32-33, 36-40 in the New Century Version)

When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. Suddenly a noise like a strong, blowing wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. They saw something like flames of fire that were separated and stood over each person there. They were all filled with the Holy Spirit, and they began to speak different languages (or tongues) by the power the Holy Spirit was giving them.

There were some religious Jews staying in Jerusalem who were from every country in the world. When they heard this noise, a crowd came together. They were all surprised, because each one heard them speaking in his own language. They were completely amazed at this. They said, “Look! Aren’t all these people that we hear speaking from Galilee? Then how is it possible that we each hear them in our own languages? We are from different places: Parthia, Media, Elam, Mesopotamia, Judea, Cappadocia, Pontus, Asia, Phrygia, Pamphylia, Egypt, the areas of Libya near Cyrene, Rome, Crete, and Arabia. But we hear them telling in our own languages about the great things God has done!” They were all amazed and confused, asking each other, “What does this mean?”

          But Peter stood up with the eleven apostles, and in a loud voice he spoke to the crowd: “My fellow Jews, and all of you who are in Jerusalem, listen to me. Pay attention to what I have to say.

“People of Israel, listen to these words: Jesus from Nazareth was a very special man. God clearly showed this to you by the miracles, wonders, and signs he did through Jesus. You all know this, because it happened right here among you. Jesus was given to you, and with the help of those who don’t know the law, you put him to death by nailing him to a cross. But this was God’s plan which he had made long ago; he knew all this would happen. God raised Jesus from the dead and set him free from the pain of death, because death could not hold him.

“So Jesus is the One whom God raised from the dead. And we are all witnesses to this. Jesus was lifted up to heaven and is now at God’s right side. The Father has given the Holy Spirit to Jesus as he promised. So Jesus has poured out that Spirit, and this is what you now see and hear.

“So, all the people of Israel should know this truly: God has made Jesus—the man you nailed to the cross—both Lord and Christ.”

When the people heard this, they felt guilty and asked Peter and the other apostles, “What shall we do?”

Peter said to them, “Change your hearts and lives and be baptized, each one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. This promise is for you, for your children, and for all who are far away. It is for everyone the Lord our God calls to himself.”

Peter warned them with many other words. He begged them, “Save yourselves from the evil of today’s people!”

Thankfully, our missionaries who go out in the world today have the opportunity to learn the languages of the people they are teaching. Or at least have been educated in how to learn a new language directly from native speakers. I give them all credit; I’ve tried learning other languages, but somedays plain regular English is enough of a challenge.

(The picture is from a Christmas Eve candlelight service at my church. No flames above anyone’s head; just flames from our candles.)

Be Safe Today and Everyday

Oh, boy, it's Friday the 13th. Anyone with suspicions out there? If I did, I would have to believe that every day of the last two and a half years was a Friday the 13th and a full moon besides.

But I have something rather unexpected to share.

First, here's another question. Do you know where asbestos comes from? Think about it a minute before you read on because I had NO idea, none whatsoever.

Hubby and I watched an episode of Mysteries of the Abandoned last night. They start each segment with a series of clues to the location they are at and let you try to figure out what this mammoth abandoned structure had once been used for.

Once, they had an iron ore dock, like the one that used to be in Ashland, Wisconsin. I can't remember what country that one was in, but I was pretty excited that I knew instantly what it was.

Mural of the Ashland Ore Dock, which was taken down around 2010.

Okay, so last night's ruins, which threw me for a loop, were located on the border between South Africa and Eswatini (which I had never heard of before but which used to be Swaziland). The Havelock Mine was initially started for mining gold, but when that didn't pan out (pun intended), they realized something even more valuable was in the ground. A group of naturally occurring, fibrous silicate minerals, which were useful in insulation and commonly used in building materials prior to the 1980s, when we all realized it was toxic and carcinogenic. Yikes!

So, back to that question above, did you know that asbestos is a natural substance? Or, like me, did you think it was manufactured from a bunch of other things, which, when combined, turned out to cause mesothelioma and lung cancer? And can you imagine how sick all those workers got? They did, and there were many lawsuits, before the mine finally closed. But sadly, I read that only 66 countries have banned the use of asbestos and it is still mined in some places.

I'm just sharing this tidbit of information today. Have a good weekend, stay safe, and don't push your luck by messing with any insulation made in the seventies or before.  

Sweet Ride of my Childhood

Last week I told you about the vehicle my parents and siblings took to California. Today, I introduce you to the sweet ride of my childhoot. 

Chapter 3 - The Pickup Camper

In 1966, Dad bought an aqua-blue Chevrolet Pickup truck with a standard transmission, a white roof, and white stripes down the sides. The white stripes must have been standard on all vehicles in the 1960s because every car or truck we owned during that era seemed to have them.

          When we went for trips in the new pickup, Pat and I sat in the front seat between Mom and Dad. I didn’t know of any extended cabs or trucks with backseats. One of us kids would use the wide metal clip of the seat belt to “shave” the stick shift. We’d slowly move the metal clip across the black ball of the shift, listening to the click, click, click sound and feeling the vibration as we traveled down the road at 40 to 50 miles an hour. At such speeds, no one ever wore a seat belt or thought of it as anything but a nuisance (if you were Mom) or as an electric shaver (if you were a five-year-old).

          Along with the new truck came a Hiawatha pickup camper. It was the coolest thing I had ever seen. It had a small refrigerator, stove, sink, furnace, and toilet in a closet. The dinette folded down to make a bed for Mom and Dad, and to this day, I have no idea how they slept in such a minute space. Pat and I had the best sleeping arrangements; we got the bed over the cab of the truck.

          We not only slept there, we played there, and when traveling down the road, we lay there on our bellies watching out the front window, a magical land of the unexplored rushing towards us. We waved at every passing motorist and pedestrian who would look our way. Sometimes, we wrote up signs to flash at these people, something benign and amazingly original, such as “hi” or “smile.”

          It never occurred to anyone that all it would take was for Dad to slam on the brakes and our two dense heads would crash through the window. Our flailing bodies would fly through the air straight into an oncoming Buick.

          Mom and Dad were not, however, totally unconcerned about our safety. They laid down one rule for us.

          It was the law of the land, which we were never to break, that when the truck was moving, the door at the back of the camper was locked, and we were under no circumstance to get within three feet of it. The edge of the dinette marked as far as we could go. After that, the closet on the left, the enclosed toilet on the right, and the door straight ahead meant certain death, for we were sure to fall out onto the pavement to be crushed by a passing semi if we went near the door when the truck was moving.

          Other than that, we had free rein within the camper. On rare occasions, we’d play cards at the table as we rode down the road, but more often than not, we’d instead crawl to the bed above the cab. To view all the wonders of our world.

A Tail of Two Pups

 

I can’t remember what year it was, but I’m going to guess close to ten years ago, when we were camping at Mclain State Park in the UP one July. We pulled into the parking lot on the other end of the park and let Dino, our wonder dog, out of the SUV. He was good about staying near, so I hadn’t put his leash on him yet. For some crazy reason, he trotted over to the only other vehicle in the lot and jumped in the front seat of their car.

The owners of the car were good-natured about it, and after many apologies, I had Dino under my control again.

Flash forward to this past Sunday. Dino has been gone nearly two and a half years, but he lives on.  

An Amazon car pulled into our yard to deliver a package. Hannah was in the yard and got to him before either Hubby or me. She was ready to launch herself into his vehicle. This is the dog who was terrified of getting in any vehicle only two months ago, but apparently, Dino’s spirit connected with her.

Our Corgi, Hannah, was born just a few days after Dino crossed the rainbow bridge. She has his soul, and it’s obvious where she will live out all of her days.

The Long Trip West

 Last Wednesday, I started the Journal of our Journeys. This week, I take a look even farther back, back before I was officially part of the family. I missed out on a great trip, but at least I got to hear the stories. 

Chapter 2 - "The California Trip"

Before I was born, but a few months after I was conceived, the rest of my immediate family took what is now known as the "Trip to California." Because I wasn't there (not really), I may never understand why this trip still lives on so strongly in family history. But ask any of the surviving members, and they will get this look on their faces as if they are savoring some delicious German chocolate.

It was the summer of 1961. My sister Pat had just turned two years old and had long honey-colored hair and bangs. Her body was round with baby fat, making her look too short and pudgy to be able to walk. There was always an innocent smile on her face.

My brother Tom and other sister Judy would have been 15 and 13, respectively. They were good kids, by most accounts, passed down over the years, but times were different then, and most kids were classified as "good." Especially if compared to today's adolescents.

Mom, in her mid-30s, was still thin. I've analyzed trip pictures and sure couldn't tell she was pregnant. As was the fashion for women of the day, she usually wore dresses, often even while camping. Her hair was permed and all brown, with no gray showing through. She wore cat-eye glasses, which were only slightly less fashionable than Judy's.

Dad had jet-black hair and was heavier than in later years. But he was never overweight, just muscular, solid. Though quiet and unassuming, he still carried a debonair air about him, which none of his kids inherited. When you could get him to smile, or he had a good cribbage hand, only one side of his mouth lifted mischievously.

The vehicle they drove on this trip had been a mystery to me for many years. The family referred to it with great affection - The Greenbrier. I always, for some bizarre reason, pictured that it had to be green, and could never figure out why, when looking at home movies, I never saw them drive anything green.

Then, one day, when looking more closely at one of these 8mm movies, I noticed the maroon and white van, which resembled a VW bus, had an emblem on its side, which appeared to be the word "Greenbrier.” I was amazed as well as humbled.

Why did I think the green in the title came from its color? Greenbrier was only the name of the model made by Chevrolet. This maroon vehicle with a white stripe took center stage in a great many home movies of the time, so it only made sense that it was the Greenbrier of California trip fame.

Chevrolet introduced the Greenbrier Sportswagon in 1961, and Mom and Dad must have gone right out and bought one. It was modeled after the VW bus, which began production in 1950 and was very popular. Surprisingly, in road tests, the Chevrolet wagon proved to have more power than the Volkswagen, but like the German vehicle, it had its engine in the rear. Production of the Greenbrier was discontinued in December 1964, part way into the 1965 model. In all, a total of 57,986 had been produced, and there still are a few on the road.

But I do have to admit, the new VW bus, known as the Buzz, is absolutely adorable. Unfortunately, it is only available in an electric model (I won't get into my thoughts on that here, though). (Oh, and it is also way out of my price range.)

Dad, being ever inventive, built beds in the Greenbrier for sleeping. Thus, Mom and Pat slept in the Greenbrier, while Dad, Tom, and Judy slumbered in the tent.

The tent could be a whole story in itself. It was certainly not today's nylon dome model. Instead, it was an "umbrella tent" named such because of a pole that stood in the middle, rods thrusting out of it supporting the ceiling. It was an old canvas creature of military issue, drab olive green, heavy, and smelly. And when it was wet – it was even smellier.

I remember the tent well because, after its important role in the California trip, it resided for years, wrapped in rope, taking up a lot of room in the space above our garage. Occasionally, it would still go camping, but more commonly, Dad pitched it in the backyard as a fort for Pat and me. Unfortunately, Mom was scared to let us sleep in it because bears occasionally wandered through our yard.

The sleeping bags they used were just as weighty, malodourous, and the same olive green. Dad must have gotten a deal on camping equipment at the Army surplus store.

Other than that, I don't know what they took with them, what route they drove, or how long they were gone. They covered a lot of ground, traveling through Iowa, Nebraska, Utah, Oregon. They also drove through the mountains and through a giant sequoia in Yosemite, literally. They ate their meals outside and brushed their teeth outside. They frolicked in the Pacific Ocean.

They took other trips, as family movies and black and white snapshots will attest. Among the places they visited were St. Augustine in Florida, Monticello in Virginia and Lake of the Clouds in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula.

It certainly was a simpler time, a time when a family was Mom, Dad, and the kids. And they spent time together. Not this quality time versus quantity time debate of today's harried family. Just time. And that was all they had.

(The picture is of Tom with the Greenbrier in our yard, taken, I think, shortly before this trip. Click this link if you want to fall in love with this vechicle. )