Start by stopping the hate

    In the spring of 1999, I spent nearly all of my free time with my sister Pat who was dying from cancer. One of the few things which shook me from that vigil was the news of the mass shooting in April at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado. At the time, it was the worst school shooting in US history. Thirteen people died and 20 were wounded when two teenagers descended on the school, intent on killing as many people as possible.

For me, it wasn’t just the number of fatalities, the horror of it all, but the location. I had lived just south of Denver in the mid-1980s. I had driven through Littleton, nearly passed the school, every night when I was going to Medical Assistant school in 1986. You can watch things like that on the news, but sometimes, it doesn’t seem real unless you know someone or have been there.

The closest I’ve ever been to Uvalde, Texas, is when Dad was working at the paper mill in Orange, Texas, when I was in kindergarten. Most of those kids killed last week were only twice the age I was at that time. 

I cannot imagine what those parents, grandparents, friends, and family are going through. Those poor kids who lived through it and will keep living it for the rest of their lives.

Every time there is a shooting like this, whether at a school, a church, or a grocery store, the debate on gun control comes up. So many people think that is the answer – take away our guns.

On the other end of the spectrum are those who rationalize that guns don’t kill people; people kill people. Which is true. But certain types of firearms were designed to kill the most targets in the shortest amount of time, and why are those available for sale? The real reality is that the bad guys will always get the guns they want, and the law-abiding citizens may end up without the most basic pistol to protect themselves.

But we still can’t blame it on guns or lax gun control laws. There have been mass killings with bombs, moving vehicles, you name it. Remember what planes did one September morning twenty-some years ago?

You cannot take away every type of weapon imaginable. I have an active imagination – there is an object right now within your reach as you’re reading this which could be used to kill someone. Ever watch MacGyver?

So, what can we do to stop these shootings, these deaths? How about start by stopping the hate. Learn to love one another, learn to accept one another. Learn to keep your eyes open for those who are struggling and reach out a helping hand. Put others first. Teach your children that.

I could do a lot of preaching here, but I try to avoid it. I sometimes think I am such a Pollyanna (many of you probably don’t know who that is, so I propose that it’s mandatory in our schools that every student watches the movie once a year. This article seems to support my suggestion - https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/201906/the-real-story-pollyanna-and-her-secret-happiness-game.).

Okay, back to reality. I think that our society no longer teaches compassion or empathy. Quite the opposite. Every day, we are bombarded with images glorifying death and killing, whether via TV, the movies, or video games. Our kids are being raised without even realizing that when someone is killed, they are dead. They aren’t getting back up again. There is no value to human life. We’re teaching our kids that it is all just a game. 

Also, I totally understand how wrong bullying is. I was bullied as a kid. I know a lot of people who were. Why did most of us get through it and move on, while others got stuck in that place of anger and hurt? I always said to myself, “I’m not letting that jerk win by showing them that they got to me.” But not everyone can do that, or sadly, sometimes those bullies don’t quit until they have broken you.

Speaking of being broken, how are all our broken families affecting our kids? Even the best parents in the world, if they aren’t the best partner to their spouse, can split the family up. And as much as we try, sometimes our kids just can’t rally after that kind of loss.

And the career which has the most shortages is adolescent mental health. These kids have no professionals to turn to or to be sent to. If these kids don’t have parents, teachers, or other caring adults who stop what they’re doing and take them under their wings, they will quickly slide down that slippery slope.

Oh, my goodness, our kids have so much going against them. No wonder there are all these teenagers finding guns and other weapons of mass destruction, snapping, and shooting up our schools.

I have no answers, but I think I at least have a general idea of the real problem. And guess what? Our elected officials aren’t going to do a thing to change any of this.