so the world may know

As you probably know, my day-to-day life came to a devasting end when those two county sheriff’s department cars pulled into my yard at 11:53 last Friday night.

It was almost déjà vu.  

How many times over the years had I lain awake in bed at night, wondering where she was, when she’d be home, how she’d get home? How many times in recent years would I check her location on Google Maps before going to bed at night and again at 2 am, only to find she was still at the bar? How many times did I wait for the phone to ring or the doorbell to ring?

It’s a long story. Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up.

Quite a few years ago, my daughter got two OWIs within a year or two. But she kept drinking. At the end of January 2023, she hit bottom and sobered up, went to AA several times a week, and was working the program. Then her dog died from blasto, and the need to drink came rushing back.

Two weeks ago, she got her third OWI. Instead of it waking her up, committing herself to stop drinking and getting her act together, she kept spiraling out of control. 

Last Friday night, the demon in her head, which was pushing her to drink and telling her that her life might as well be over, won. But only for that one instant.

I feel in my heart – no, I know in my heart and soul because Jesus has told me this. That in that final instant, Jesus slayed those demons that had been wearing her down and announced to Satan that he was done. And Jesus took her gently in His arms and carried her to heaven. Why He couldn’t have just carried her back to me, I do not know.

The only other thing that I do know is that my baby girl, with a heart for caring for others, whose love was immeasurable, whose spirit was a little wild, whose smile was more beautiful than sunrise over Lake Superior. I know that the devil was after her for half of her life because he knew her amazing qualities, and that scared him, so he just kept assaulting her. But in the end, Satan never wins.   

This is how I face each day now: Satan never wins. Jesus always does, even if it’s not in our time or in our way.  

My baby girl is at peace now, and someday we’ll be together again. In the meantime, I want the world to know that.