Crossing the Finish Line - Entry 17 in the story of my sister and me

Dear God

If I die tomorrow

Or a thousand tomorrows from now,

Will it matter?

Will I be changed

Or have changed the world?

Will another moment from eternity of existence

Cause the moon to fall

The oceans to weep

The trees to walk?

But if an extra heartbeat

Brings one smile to a teary eye

If all my heartbeats

Can make another soul sing

Another life less dull

Then my entire being has purpose

And eternity becomes an instant of joy.

            My sister, Patricia Ann Loehmer, wrote the above poem over a decade before she received the diagnosis of cancer, the cancer which claimed her life one month before her fortieth birthday. If she were still with us, she would be celebrating her sixtieth birthday next week on the 15^th. I’ve been sharing her words and her story here over the last few weeks in her memory as we have stumbled over the twenty-year anniversary of her passing into the next life.

On a regular basis, people still come up to me and say, “Pat was your sister, wasn’t she? She was so good-hearted. She was the smartest person I knew. She was the toughest person I knew.” 

            I nod and agree with these people. Her wonderful combination of grim determination and childish wonder was an inspiration to so many, her spirit touching the lives of everyone she met. Reading over the many letters she wrote to me while either she was at college, I was at college, or I was living 1200 miles away in Colorado, it’s almost as if she knew, somehow, what was coming, what her fate in life would be. The wisdom of her words held me up during the rough spots in my life and today those words simply stun me.

Mostly, she is my constant inspiration. There is that saying “What would Jesus do?” That motto inspires me to do good, of course. But when I need to make the pedal hit the metal, I ask myself, “What would Pat do?”

When we meet again, I can only pray that I have done her proud.

            “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” 

I hope you’ve enjoyed reading her story over the last month. My intention was not to bring you down but to lift you up, to give you strength and hope.  I’ve been planning on posting this series for over a year, wanting to share it with you in celebration of my sister’s life, marking the milestones of the 60 year anniversary of her arrival on this earth and the 20 year anniversary of her passing. It seems like she has been gone so long, but when I look at those numbers, I realize that she blessed many of us for forty years. And what more can anyone ask for?