Need Chocolate?

   Then he said to all, “Anyone who wants to follow me must put aside his own desires and conveniences and carry his cross with him every day and keep close to me!” (Luke 9:23, Living Bible)

On Ash Wednesday, all those weeks ago, before the coronavirus pandemic took over our lives, back when we heard the news of it ravaging China and never thought it would make it here, I decided to give up chocolate for Lent.

I’m not Catholic, so I was never raised having it pounded in my head that I had to “give up” something for Lent, or that if I maintained my dedication all week, I could, on Sundays, partake of whatever it was I “gave up”. Over the years, I have just thought that it makes sense to make a simple sacrifice during this season, for the entire time without rewarding yourself once a week for good behavior. And there have been previous years when I was able to give up chocolate (my favorite thing to ingest!) and it was no big deal.

Then COVID19 crossed the ocean and landed in our backyards. We all went crazy and everyone’s stress went through the roof. And what do we do when we are stressed? Turn to our comfort foods (or beverages or whatever other bad vices we have).

I was doing okay, until just a few days after COVID19 started affecting my personal life. I was working our Saturday walk-in clinic, when a patient, in a mask, presented with all of the symptoms. We weren’t able to do testing in our clinic then (and still aren’t), so we sent her away to be tested elsewhere. I didn’t freak out, I wasn’t afraid I would contract the coronavirus from her, I wasn’t worried I would hear her obituary and feel guilty we didn’t offer her more. I was just struck with the reality that maybe this is something that was going to change our lives. 

I dove into the decadent chocolate bar I had been saving for the day after Easter.  

I didn’t beat myself up over that. And, yes, I went the remaining weeks up until Easter, eating only the few random chocolate chips in a few cookies. It continued to be a challenge, though, as the stress and the number of COVID19 victims kept piling up. That is life and that is why we need to put our trust in God. We can’t do it on our own.

Heavenly Father, thank You for sending Your Son to be our Savior so that we don’t need to worry about being perfect. Jesus suffered enough for us so that we don’t have to. Amen.