Yesterday, my mom would
have turned 95 years old. Five years ago, in February, however, she passed away;
it sure doesn’t seem that long ago.
I’ve been thinking about sharing
this story for several years, but – I don’t know. It’s a dumb story but it sure
is hard to write about.
As you may know, my sister
Pat and I were close friends. Over the years, we came up with lists of nicknames
for each other. Snoopy for her, Woodstock for me. Which morphed into Big Nose
or Beagle Nose and Little Bird. When she went off to college, they called her
Duck. For a long time, she called me Knutt, because I was a goofy kid and
thrived on making her laugh.
Mom also had nicknames for
us. Because Pat was round and chubby, Mom would call her “Fatty Patty”. And
because I was scrawny, she sometimes referred to me as “Teeny Tiny”. No clue
where we got our low self-esteem from.
But actually, from day
one, even though my birth certificate reads “Christine”, Mom always called me “Tina”.
And everyone else back in the day called me that too.
I hated it. Even now I
cringe just thinking about it.
I went to small, local
schools until the fifth grade, and up until then, because everyone knew us, my
teachers and my classmates called me Tina. When I entered fifth grade in the
big, brick school in town, I was a newbie to the teachers and most of the kids.
It was easy to ask for them to shorten my given name of Christine to Chris.
It took years for that
name to stick, and occasionally even now, someone from the old days will still
call me Tina.
Mom hung onto that nickname
like it was a chunk of solid gold. We had a blow-up over it one time, me demanding
she call me Chris and ranting to her that if she wanted to call me Tina so
badly why didn’t she just name me that legally.
She wrote me a long letter
(which I still have somewhere), telling me that when I came home from the hospital
and was just so tiny and precious, her Teeny Tiny, she immediately adopted
the alternate name. But that she would always love me with all her heart, no
matter what name I went by.
Probably most kids have
been tormented at one time or another by their nicknames (and by their mothers). Even my daughter went
through a phase where she hated her name (more like a phase where she hated
everything, but that’s the joy of being a girl).
The saying is not true
that sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me. But how
I ever let a simple name like Tina bother me so much, I do not know.
I do know, however, that I
do not want you all to start calling me that! I just felt it was time to get
this off of my chest.
|
Talk about being tormented, notice the ashtray in the corner. |