How Can I Doubt?

“Be joyful in hope; patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” Romans 12:12 (New International Version)

Monday morning, Hubby and I set off for camping in Michigan’s UP. It had been our first vacation in a very long time, since well before the pandemic began. I had been anticipating this trip for months, fearful that it would be canceled like the last vacation in April due to COVID19.

But, no, we pulled out of the yard around eleven Monday morning, the pickup truck loaded and our faithful popup camper rolling along behind, Dino beside himself with joy that we were going away.

We had a good time, nothing exciting or special, just a few days to relax and not stress about things. Until around 4:30 Friday morning.

I won’t go into detail. I did at least avoid a trip to the ER, thanks to the amazing people I work with at the clinic back home, who gave me a phone visit by eight am and called in some drugs to the pharmacy near where we were camped. That makes it sound so simple.

In reality, I was writhing in pain in our truck in the parking lot of the pharmacy, waiting for those prescriptions to be filled. The curse of a previous vacation – dratted kidney stone. I feel like such a wimp. I know anyone who has had a kidney stone will tell you it is the worst pain they’ve ever had. But really, Chris? Writhing in pain? Acting like a crazy person, pacing in the parking lot, squatting on the pavement, nearly throwing up (by the way, those doggy poop bags they have in dispensers at parks double as puke bags).

At one point, as I was sitting on the truck’s running board, I turned to prayer. My usual – God I know you have better things to do, but can you please make this pain go away. 

I looked down at the pavement and saw this heart-shaped pebble. Ok, God did not take away my pain, I don’t know why, that’s His decision to make, but He did let me know that He was still with me. 

God, Father, thank You for always being there for me. Amen.

That’s not the end of the story though. After several trips into the pharmacy, Hubby came out again to report that they had the prescriptions but it would take about 20 minutes for them to be ready. He asked if I wanted to ride around town. I answered sure. After he picked up some juice for me at a gas station, I directed him to pull into a church parking lot. We’d driven past that church before and I thought it was so pretty. I wanted a picture. I didn’t take a picture though. Instead, it was more pacing and squatting and dry-heaving.

Until I saw a bunch of loose pebbles on the blacktop. I scooped them up and told Hubby that I would take them home and tell people that they were my kidney stones. This all was before I even took a narcotic pain pill!

I don’t know. To me, it is proof again that God answers our every prayer, maybe not how we would like it. But He always has an answer. And if His answer is to bless me with a weird sense of humor, who am I to doubt Him.