Nice Try, Fred

You haven’t heard from me in a very long time. That’s because Mom won’t let me in the house anymore. She has threatened to not even let me in the house on the coldest of winter nights, when she and Dad have always let Betty, Ches and me in. I have supposedly committed acts of indiscretion against the entertainment center which are unforgiveable.

But tonight, when Mom was coaxing Dino outside (he commits acts of indiscretion against the garbage all the time, and he gets to sleep on Mom’s bed all day long!), I snuck through the open door. I couldn’t believe I was in!

I was on my way to an ingenious hiding place, when that stupid kitten Alice stopped me. She expected the usual sniff-and-greet. I had to oblige, even though that stupid runt thinks she is hot stuff because she gets to sleep on the bed all day long next to Dino. Mom was still setting her purse and bag down next to the door, but when she didn’t take her jacket off right away, I knew she meant business. I hustled out of the living room and slunk down the basement stairs. Mom was in tight pursuit.

Now, you have to remember that it has been at least six months since I have had the run of the house. Give me a couple months of nightly forays and I will be able to disappear in a heartbeat. Instead I sought refuge under the steps, which is the first place Mom looked, probably because she was in such hot pursuit she saw me duck in there.

She chased me out with the broom and I bound back up the stairs. Then there was that moment’s indecision – living room or the rest of the house? I choked. I trotted into the living room. There are only so many places to hide in the living room, even though I noticed that Mom and Dad have added some furniture. Supposedly my girl Val needed a sofa so Mom and Dad are storing an extra one in the living room. If I had ever been in a used furniture store, I would say this room is starting to look like one.

More indecision, just long enough for Mom’s big hand to reach down and snatch me up. Ohhh, nooo, it is so cold and wet outside.

But, he,he,he, this was just a test. Next time, next time I am in like flint. My devious mind will seek out the ultimate hiding place and Mom will not throw me out then.