Passing Through Rough Waters

But now, this is what the Lord says —

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. (Isaiah 43:1-2 New International Version)

It’s been suggested, when a person is feeling down, that they look for the good in every situation, or better yet that they look for something to feel grateful for in every situation. To write down, every day, at least one thing you are thankful for. And of course, every day, I can think of dozens of things that I am thankful for.

Except for the days when I feel cracked and broken, useless and ignored, defeated and unloved. And don’t tell me that you haven’t had days like that too, coz I know you have. So, what’s a person to do on days like that?

I decided that instead of writing down all the cheesy things I’m grateful for, that I would start a journal of the worst things that happen to me every day.

I know what you’re gonna say. “What is wrong with you, Chris? Don’t be so negative. Looking at the bad stuff is only going to drag you down more. You have to remember all the good things that happen each day and don’t dwell on the bad.”

That’s what you would think. But try it.

The first night, when I started that journal last week, and I wrote down “#1 one of my patients was admitted to hospice”, it dawned on me. Maybe that’s not the worst thing. He is a sweet man who has had a hard life, maybe knowing his battle is almost finished, that he will soon be falling into the loving arm’s of Jesus isn’t such a bad thing.

Then I wrote down “#2 my Achilles tendon continues to ache, sometimes more, sometimes less, but I’m getting tired of it”. I actually brought this up to a patient that day when we were talking about aches and pains, and we both realized that having aches and pains in a heel or a wrist or a back means that you still have those body parts and can still feel them. You haven’t had something amputated and you’re not paralyzed. (The truly neat thing about that conversation was that at the end of it, this patient said, “you must be a Christian”.)  

I arrived at yesterday, and added another thing to my growing list. “The boyfriend of a good friend died last night.” And I got nothing, nothing good to say about that, no hidden treasure, no secret lining. Nothing. And some days are like that but at the end of those days, I still know I am a child of God and He is always with me.

Thank You, Lord God, for always, always being with me. Amen.